Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Joke: Microsoft vs GM

Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to
the gallon
."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating :

"
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.

3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.

6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on
five percent of the roads.

7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or
more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Department.

12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.

13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine